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This list is written in no particular order. If you
think I’ve missed anything, please feel free to share your horror stories.
Enough chit chat, let’s see if we can remember how our GMs ticked us off…
1.
Rail-Roading: Otherwise known as
‘forcing you into the adventure’. Rail-roading can occur whenever the GM has a
plan for something to happen, you try to avoid it, and he shows you who’s boss.
Classically, this begins at the start of the adventure when the players can’t
decide how they all met, continues on to why they have to go in some random
dungeon, and ends with an arbitrarily forced ‘hook’ for next adventure.
2.
Disregard of ‘Unimportant’ Rules: Sometimes the GM will
get so wrapped up in the ‘story’ that some ‘rules’ may seem trivial in
comparison. Often, the GM won’t realize he’s being slightly unfair by letting a
bartender auto-hit a 17th level fighter and knock him out without
rolling for initiative.
3.
A Sense of Balance: Well-meaning GMs sometimes try to
enforce their own version of ‘balance’ on a game. This often includes detailed
lists of which books are allowed, where your character can live with his 20
page background, and the fact that a 35 intimidation roll will only make
peasants ‘slightly concerned’ because of ‘realism’.
4.
Taking Things too Seriously: Often, and quite logically, GMs
will think they’re making The-Best-Ever-Game-in-the-Universe. They will believe
that they’re basically John Grisham and anything they invent is pure brilliance
and can’t be messed with. If anyone dares to imply that their game world might
not be perfect, or *gasp* comes up with their own cool ideas; these GMs will
not hesitate to squash out their ideas like so many bugs on a trucking highway.
This kind of game will usually generate a very
self-satisfied GM with very quiet players. The successful players will soon
learn that flattery and ‘getting into’ the world will yield them the best
results. The GM will be encouraged by this into the deluded belief that his
players actually think he’s John Grisham.
5.
Lack of Rules: At the opposite end of the spectrum,
some GMs believe rules are for sissies. They will often come up with convoluted
or downright insane random tables and bizarre creations of their own design. If
it were up to them, the extent of the rules would consist of 250 pages of GM
Advice which ranks somewhere below ‘optional’. Success in such games often
depends on convincing the GM your ‘rule’ is a good idea. Once the GM figures
something makes sense, he’ll likely make it into a new house-rule and you can
do whatever you like until you run into some whacky 50 HD blob thing which
wants to kill you for unknown reasons.
6.
Poorly Thought-Out Adventures: There are few things
more annoying to a player than a GM who doesn’t really know his stuff. Maybe he
wrote some notes, but forgot them; maybe he wrote his notes last week, and can’t
understand them anymore; or maybe he didn’t write any notes whatsoever, and is
just making stuff up. These are the kinds of adventures that make the bravest
players groan in frustration.
For example: when the GM creates an impenetrable
wall of fire just to buy time to think up the adventure, and then throws a 60th
level orc archer at the party to ‘keep them busy’.
7.
GMs as Players: Once in a blue moon, a long-time GM
will get the hankering to be a player for a while. A great player will, no
doubt, jump at the chance to GM for a while…and soon regret it. Some GMs have
just been at it too long to know when to stop. When they game as a player they
tend to control the adventure, make up NPC appearances, offer helpful plot
advice, and arbitrarily rewrite character creation rules without telling you.
Since the primary GM is often the one with the real power, telling them ‘no’
can be catastrophic for your future characters.
GMs are also used to prattling on at all times. If
they aren’t describing what their characters are doing for at least 50% of the
game session, they end up feeling deprived and stifled.
8.
Forgetting to say ‘Yes’: Often, one of the best things a
GM can do is to say ‘yes’ to the players’ ideas. Some GMs forget this concept
completely and figure they’re in charge of the game. Whenever a player comes up
with a cool idea, action, or plan the GM will just say, “No, you can’t do
that.”
10.
Never Admitting they’re Wrong: Some GMs must always
be right. It’s in the rules. If there’s a problem, it’s obviously the result of
the players’ poor reasoning abilities or lack of character powers. Obviously,
the system or the GM is never at fault for anything.
11.
Being a Pushover: Some GMs kill off their players’
characters like no tomorrow (and occasionally for no good reason). Far more
likely these days are the GMs who will pander to the might of the players and
the game designers. If there’s an argument, this GM loses. If there’s a rules
interpretation, the players’ votes always stand. If any player’s character
happens to die *shudder*, he’ll be resurrected with no drawbacks in about 12
seconds.
These GMs will hand out magic items for the asking,
treasure for the taking, and allow their players to pretty much control them in
every way.
12.
Ignoring the Action: GMs love to create cool stories and
role-play. They’ll sometimes create elaborate and highly annoying NPCs. Some of
these NPCs seem to have a hidden spell called ‘immune to everything’ which
never allows them to die or suffer any ill-effect.
Sometimes, the GM will ignore the action of the
adventure in exchange for mucking around and wandering about the city for the
best version of iron rations. Trying to find a fight in these games would not
only take forever, it would be nearly impossible.
13.
Non-Combat, What’s That?: On the flip side of things, some
GMs seem to be under the impression that RPGs are simply a glorified version of
tabletop miniatures warfare with less pieces. The game starts with the first
battle and ends with…well, it doesn’t really end; there are just more battles.
14.
Weird, Cheating Dice: The rules actually encourage GMs to
cheat the dice.
Also highly annoying are the times when you roll a 1
and receive obviously false information, or roll a 20 and still fail for some
reason.
15.
Overdeveloped sense of Fairness: Sometimes a good GM
will feel it’s his duty to make his players equal. This will often result in
magic items being taken away because they’re unbalanced, or other well-meaning
but highly irritating feats of GM improvisation.
16.
Lack of Rewards: After fighting for 15 hours, you get
no treasure.
17.
Outlawing Dice Towers: The GM outlaws dice towers as ‘not
helpful’ to the game.
18.
In-game Chat: For some reason, the GM comes up with
a crazy rule to enforce whether you said something in-game or out of game.
19.
Disappearing Treasure Hoard Trick: After defeating an
ancient red dragon it often turns out his ‘hoard’ is 100 gp. Other times,
whenever the group comes to a large, seemingly unguarded pile of treasure they
just ignore it. It’ll obviously disappear or be trapped in some diabolical way.
20.
Goblins Only Carry Copper: Apparently, this is quite
annoying to players.
21.
Thieves steal all of your Treasure: ‘Nuff said.
22.
Cursed Magic Items: Hey, I thought all magic items were
beneficial?
23.
Poor Descriptions: You can’t really fault them for this.
Player: “I know there’s a trap here, can you describe the area?” GM: “You see a
door.” Player: “I check it for traps.” GM: “Where?” Player: “On the Handle.”
GM: “You fall in the obvious pit trap before the door.”
...More GM Advice
...More GM Advice
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